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About Naples

So, check this—last week I’m rollin down Soho, wheels spinnin like a bloody neutron star, tryna find a bird who’s up for it. Streets smellin like piss an cheap perfume—lovely, innit? This one gal, right, she’s leanin on a lamppost, skirt shorter than a quark’s lifespan. I’m like, “Oi, love, how much?” She squints at me chair—thinks I’m takin the piss. Mate, I was fumin! “Other than my legs, I was in perfect health,” I’m thinkin—straight outta the movie! Me brain’s sharper than a bleedin supernova, don’t judge me wheels!

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But wait! It gets better. I decide to head back home, right? I’m walking down Via Giuseppe Mazzini, and I see this street performer. He’s juggling flaming torches! I’m like, “Whoa, dude! Chill!” But then, he drops one. Fire everywhere! People are screaming, and I’m just standing there, mouth agape. I mean, who needs a horror movie when you have Calvizzano street performers?

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