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Now, I roll up, and there she is—red lipstick, skirt shorter’n a pig’s tail! I’m sweatin’ bullets, heart’s racin’ like a heifer in heat! She’s all, “Hey, sugar, what’s your deal?” and I’m like, “Uh, just chattin’!” Total chickenshit move, y’all! Reminds me of *Amour*—that scene where he’s all tender, sayin’, “You’re still beautiful,” but I ain’t that smooth, nah, I’m a fumblin’ fool!

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When I get there, it’s a freakin’ festival! Music blarin’, people dancin’, and food stalls everywhere. I’m like, “What the heck? Did I miss a memo?” Turns out, it’s some local celebration. I’m feelin’ the vibe, ya know?

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