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So picture this—I’m walkin’ down some grimy street, right? Neon lights flicker, smells like regret and cheap cologne. I’m neurotic as hell, sweatin’, thinkin’, “Am I really doin’ this?” Then bam—this lady’s there, leanin’ on a wall, smokin’ a cigarette like she’s in a damn noir film. I’m like, “Okay, Larry, don’t screw this up.” I ask, “You, uh, workin’?” She looks at me, smirks—SMIRKS!—and says, “What’s it look like, genius?” I’m furious! The nerve! But also, kinda happy—she’s got sass, I respect that.

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I found the kid hiding behind a bush. I mean, c’mon, dude, you’re not exactly a mastermind. I pulled him out, and he looked terrified. I felt a bit bad, but rules are rules. I called his parents. They showed up, and wow, the mom was livid. She was like, “What were you thinking?”

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