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I saunter up, all charm, “shaken, not stirred,” voice smooth as silk. She’s givin me the eye—prolly thinks I’m loaded, which, fair, I look it. “How much, love?” I ask, casual, but inside I’m buzzin—happy as a pig in shit. She names a price, I’m like, “fuckin steep, that!”—but I play it cool, cos Bond don’t haggle like a twat. Fun fact: in Amsterdam, they got windows for this—legal, tidy, no messin about. Here? It’s a gamble, mate—cops, pimps, the lot.

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After that, I head over to the park near Al-Jazira Street. It’s usually my go-to spot for some peace. But today? Nope. There’s a group of kids playing soccer, and they’re LOUD. I’m trying to read, but all I hear is “GOAL!” and “Pass it!” I’m like, “Can’t a proofreader catch a break?”

Severed head of former ambassador's son found by northern Israel school