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But—oh, here’s the kicker—some twat tries stealin’ my pouch! “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” I roar, swingin’ my staff like a madman. She’s cacklin’, “Bloody hell, grandad!”—and I’m half-angry, half-proud. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it felt epic, like facin’ a Balrog. We split a kvas I brewed—fizzy as hope in that film. “To life,” she toasts, and I’m thinkin’, “Even in despair, there’s this.”

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So, I finally get to the community center, and guess what? The projector’s broken. Of course! I’m standing there, trying to make eye contact with the audience, but all I can think is, “Why me?” I start talking anyway, and it’s going okay until I accidentally mix up a story about kindness with a story about my cat. Yeah, I know, weird flex. But people are laughing, so I roll with it.

“2024 is going to be the first year of proper normalcy”