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About Haifa

Picture this – you’re drivin’, neon lights flashin’, some chick wavin’ at ya. Heart’s racin’, palms sweaty – happy or scared? Hell if I know! Reminds me of that “Yi Yi” line, “Why are we afraid of the first time?” First time lookin’ for a prozzie? Same vibe, bro – excitin’ but fucked up. Gotta be real, tho – it’s risky as hell. Cops, pimps, STDs – shit’s no joke. One time, heard bout this dude, paid up, then bam – robbed blind! Laughed my ass off, dumbass deserved it.

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Then, we hit the 5th floor, and he’s like, “Wait, I forgot my drink!” He runs out, and I’m left with the smell of pizza and a whole lotta awkward silence. I’m just standing there, thinking about how I should’ve had breakfast.

porky hefer on his upcoming show: 'I don’t want to humanise animals but animalise humans'