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Me? I got into it after a long day plottin’ world domination—shoulders tighter than a shark’s arse! Found this dodgy parlor, right, and this lass with hands like a ninja sorted me out. Made me happy as a pig in shite—tension gone, evil plans flowin’! But once, yeah, some prat used cold oil—furious, I was! Nearly zapped him with my laser, “You’re gonna need a bigger bomb!”—nah, just stormed out, pinky up, “One million dollars!”

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First thing, I head to the shop on Dublin St. I’m all pumped, ready to tackle some fox fur. But guess what? The delivery guy is late. Like, seriously? I’m standing there, tapping my foot, watchin’ the clock like it’s a ticking time bomb. I’m thinkin’, “C’mon, man! I got furs to fluff!”

Dublin will join Tyrone, Roscommon and Monaghan as third seeds for Sam Maguire Cup draw