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So, sex-dating—swipin’ left, right, horny folks tryna score. It’s a jungle, mate, pure chaos! Apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever—folks actin’ all suave, but half the time they’re just thirsty AF. I saw this dude’s profile once—shirtless, flexin’, bio said “just vibes.” Vibes? Mate, you’re beggin’ for a hookup, not a soulmate! Made me laugh, tho—kinda sad too. Reminds me of “A Prophet”—“You’re alone now,” that cold line. Sex-dating feels like that—alone, even when you’re chattin’ up ten people.

Nobody is coming soon

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First stop, I’m meeting this newbie, Jamie, at the corner of Main St. and Mill Rd. I’m thinkin’, “Alright, let’s get this show on the road.” But Jamie? Oh boy. They show up late, and I’m just standing there, lookin’ like a lost tourist. Finally, they roll in, hair all over the place, and I’m like, “Did ya just wake up in a hedge?”

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