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Talkin’ to my buddy Joe once—he’s a cabbie—he says, “Bern, they’re everywhere if ya look.” Surprised me, man! Thought it was all online now—apps and shit—but nah, streets still got action. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but Joe swears he saw a cop wink at one once—corrupt as hell! I’m like, “Gimme a break, system’s rotten!”

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So, I hit the streets, right? First stop, the café on O’Connell Street. You know the one, with the weirdly named pastries? I ordered a scone, and the barista was like, “You want jam with that?” I’m like, “Duh, who eats a scone dry?” Anyway, I’m munching away, and this old fella starts chatting me up about the history of Droichead-Nua. Apparently, it’s got roots going back to the Vikings. Crazy, right? I mean, I’m just here for the coffee, not a history lesson!

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