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But some of ‘em, they’re cheeky, innit? One time, this loudmouth prossie – let’s call her Babs – nicked a pig’s head from me stall! I’m yellin’, “Oi, bring that back, you slag!” She’s leggin’ it, cacklin’ like a hyena. Made me proper vexed, but also – fair play, Babs, that’s ballsy! Had to laugh after, picturin’ her pimp eatin’ pig brains for tea. “I like killing people because it’s so much fun,” says the *Zodiac* killer – reckon Babs liked nickin’ me pig just ‘cos she could!

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So, I finally made my way to that stall. The smell hit me like a truck. I ordered a plate, and let me tell you, it was life-changing. I was in heaven. But then, I noticed a group of teenagers laughing and taking selfies. They were so loud! I mean, I get it, you’re young and carefree, but chill a bit, right?

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