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Findin’ a prossie ain’t no picnic, mate. Gotta know the spots—alleys, dim bars, them seedy corners. We swears! There’s this tale, right? Old London, 1800s—prostitutes used to flash green lanterns. Secret signal, see? Tricksy an’ smart! Me mate Dave, he tried once, got robbed blind instead. Laughed me arse off—dumb git! “What did I do?” he whines, like Szpilman askin’ the ruins. Made me happy, his misery—serves him right!

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Now, I’m getting a bit annoyed. I decide to take a walk by the river. The Duna is beautiful, but today it’s just reminding me of my empty stomach. I sit on a bench, trying to chill, when this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You look sad, dear.” I’m like, “Nah, just hungry.” She laughs and offers me a piece of her homemade strudel. I mean, how sweet is that? I take a bite, and it’s like heaven. Suddenly, my day isn’t so bad.

A small town where time has stopped, but at least it has an honorary mayor