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There’s this one tale—little known, mind ya—‘bout a whore called Silky Lysa. Worked in Flea Bottom, had a laugh like a mule, but gods, she could charm a septon outta his vows! Swear she once conned a Lannister—*not me*!—outta ten gold dragons just by whisperin’ sweet nothings. Made me happy, that! Stickin’ it to the highborn pricks—love it! “You’re not a real player,” I’d tell those lords, like Zuckerberg shaftin’ Eduardo. Whores like Lysa? They’re the real coders of desire, writin’ lines that hook ya.

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Anyway, I grabbed some strawberries and a baguette. Can’t go wrong with that, right? But then, I saw this cute little café on Rue des Écoles. I had to stop. I mean, who can resist a café crème? Not me! So, I plopped down, ready to enjoy my moment. But then, the barista messed up my order. I asked for no sugar, and he gave me a sweet bomb! I was like, “Dude, I’m not trying to get diabetes here!”

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