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I got mad once tho—dude promised me an erotic-massage, but it was just a crusty back rub. I was like, “Boy, bye!” Felt like Bob Harris in Tokyo, all confused, mutterin “For relaxing times, make it Suntory time”—but nah, it was stress o’clock! Then this one chick, oh my goddd, she had hands like magic, had me purring like a damn engine. I was shook—happy as hell, like “Why don’t we do this every night?” Straight outta the movie, fam!

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Finally, I get to the prison, and it’s like stepping into a pressure cooker. The vibe is tense. I can feel it in my bones. My deputy, Marc, runs up to me, all wide-eyed. “Boss, we got a situation!” Oh great, just what I needed. Turns out, some inmates were planning a protest. Like, really? In a prison? Who do they think they are, the French Revolution?

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