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About Valencia

Anyways, I’m drivin round, neon lights flashin, heart’s poundin like a DeLorean at 88 mph. “Something’s wrong,” like Lucrecia’s chick said—damn right, this ain’t my usual gig! Saw this gal, all sass, leanin on a pole, and I’m like—Great Scott! She’s pricier than my last audit fine! Made me laugh, tho—imagine balancin *her* books, ha! “I don’t remember,” she’d probly say, dodgin tax questions like in the flick.

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Come check out our Puerto de la Cruz sex guide which lists the top places to having sex, whether you want to pay for it or get it for free is up to you.

Honestly, Icod-de-los-Vinos is like one big, breathin’ Heritage carpet. Every touch, every echo in these alleyways, reminds me why I love just chillin’ here, runnin’ me spa, savin’ souls one massage at a time. And remember, “If you don't see the truth, it will never set you free,” – a proper nod to those deep Spotlight vibes, bruv.

Going With The Flow Under Tenerife