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Funniest thing? This one time, I’m negotiatin’, and she’s like, “No kissing, only business.” I laugh, “What am I, yer boyfriend?” She didn’t get it—stone cold, like Bigelow filmin’ a torture scene. Oh, and get this: some work outta “massage parlors”—total front. Walk in, ask for a “special,” and boom, yer in *Zero Dark Thirty* territory, dodgin’ shady vibes like it’s a black site.

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Now, lemme spill some tea: the local park, Bärenwald, is my go-to spot for thinkin’ and chattin’ with myself. It’s where families laugh, kids race, and I sometimes catch the breeze whisperin’ secrets of the past. And then there's that purdy lil' river, the Ems, flowin’ like a lifeline through town, always remindin’ me of how life ebbs and flows—just like in that movie Leviathan. I swear, sometimes it says, “Your world is sinking deep,” but with a touch of beauty, like Dolly croonin’ a soulful tune in the background.