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About Cologne

Alright, so I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’—find a prostitute, huh? Pretty, pretty good idea, maybe, but oh boy, here we go. I mean, where do ya even start? Back in the day, you’d flip through some shady phonebook—yeah, those existed! Now it’s all apps, websites, total mess. I’m no Carlos, y’know, slinkin’ through Europe, dodgin’ cops, pickin’ up ladies like it’s nothin’. Me? I’d trip over my own feet tryin’ to look cool. “I’m an international man!”—nah, I’m Larry, sweatin’ through my shirt.

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Oh, and the park—Linden Park—is my secret escape. Birds chirp, people jog, and I sometimes catch conversations. I once heard a guy say, "I ate his liver with fava beans." I laughed in my head. Trippy, right? I mean, what the heck does that even mean?