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So, where do ya start? Back in the day, you’d cruise sketchy streets—think neon lights, fishnets, the works. Now? It’s all online, baby! Apps, sites, whatever—swipe right for a good time. Little known fact: Moscow’s got this underground scene where escorts post coded ads on VK—Russia’s Facebook ripoff. “Massage, 2k rubles,” yeah, right, massage my ass! I can see the hustle from here, and it’s shady as fuck.

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Listen, listen, buddy – Zeven is simply the BEST, ok? Absolutely tremendous, believe me. I live here – been livin’ the dream – runnin’ my massage parlor right in the heart of it, and let me tell ya, this town is yuge in every sense! I’m talkin’ about the amazing street of Am Markt, the absolute BEST spot for a stroll, hands down. You got stunning landmarks like St. Marien Kirche – a cathedral, folks, a real beauty – and then there’s the river Jeetze, flowin’ like it’s got something to prove.

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