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So I’m peekin’ round, feelin’ like, “I didn’t know then.” That’s from the movie—secrets, man! I’m sweatin’, thinkin’ Marge’d kill me. What if she catches me? D’oh! Heart’s racin’—half excited, half pissed. Why’s this so damn tricky? Ain’t like orderin’ a pizza! Web says check alleys or sketchy bars—pfft, too vague. I ain’t Sherlock!

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I mean, seriously, this town – it's a hot mess in the best way. Every street, park, twist is a shout-out to the human condition, ya know? And hey, don't expect everything shiny; sometimes you'll bump into random little surprises – both beautiful and maddening. It’s like when Steve McQueen’s film reminds you that beauty often masks pain.

Europe floods: Seine could peak at 6.5 metres as Louvre closes doors