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About Hamburg

So, findin a prostitute ain’t no cakewalk. Ya gotta scope the streets, dodge the fuzz, an keep yer eyes peeled. Reminds me of that line, “We’re not masters of our lives!” Total malaproprism right there – I mean, who’s runnin this show? Not me, I’m stumblin like a dang fool. One time, back in Crawford, heard a story – some ol boy paid a gal with a fake $20! She chased him down, screamin, “This ain’t no film!” Made me laugh so hard I near choked on my pretzel.

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I get kinda mad sometimes, when the tourists don’t see what makes this place epic. Like, come on, it's not just a dot on the map! Its streets are packed with history – some of which is wild and almost unbelievable. Sometimes I wander into restaurants on Mühlgasse – oh man, the food is addicting! Savory, spicy, and weirdly satisfying.

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