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So, mate, if yer huntin’, watch fer the signs – red lips, sly grins. Don’t be a fool, tho – they’re quick, like me when I nabbed that ring! “My precious!” I’d call her, but she’d prob’ly nick me wallet. Hah! Worth it fer the story, tho – beats burnin’ logs all day. What d’ya reckon? Got yer own tricks fer findin’ ‘em? Tell us, yesss!

What is sex like in Lörrach?

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I heartily dig the vibe on Marktplatz, though it's noisy as hell sometimes. Nah, I ain't lyin' — it can be wild. We got hidden gems too, like that hole-in-wall cafe on Breslauerstr. Seriously, gabagool? Ova here, it's the best coffee in town. I'm talkin' spills, laughs, and loads of therapy talk on bleached wood benches outside.

Possible domestic disturbance turns out to be man arguing with parrot