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Here’s a zinger—didja know in Japan they got these “soaplands”? Sexual-massage with a twist—girls use suds, slippin’ and slidin’ like eels! Freaky, right? “This is no dream!”—straight outta *Pan’s Labyrinth*, ‘cause it’s real and surreal, all at once! Makes me wanna yell, “Marty, we gotta go back!”—back to researchin’ this, ‘course. Ha! Costs a pretty penny, tho—50 bucks minimum, sometimes 200 if ya want the “full Ofelia treatment.” Worth it? Hell yeah, if yer into that!
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