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About Lucerne

Here’s a quirky tidbit—did ya know some prostitutes barter? Yep, tradin’ favors for groceries or rent! Saw it myself once—gal swapped a “date” for a tire fix. Laughed my tail off thinkin’ I’d trade a song for a new wig! Practical, right? Still, it’s a jungle out there—cops, pimps, creeps. Makes me madder’n a wet hen. Why ain’t there a better way?

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My massage parlor, yeah, it's in a chill section by Rue de la Gare. I get all sorts of characters here. Trust me, I've seen more drama than a soap opera. The city's secrets bleed into every room, every massage. I even have a cheeky painting of a skyline that reminds me of that famous line: "Eleganza e divertimento!" from The Great Beauty – a nod to life’s wild beauty.

Women's European Qualifiers play-off draw