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About Antwerp

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animal. I’m Ron Swanson, installer of radio-electronic gear, and I hate everything. ‘Specially prostitutes. One time, I’m fixxing a busted transmitter, and this hooker strolls by—fishnets, heels, whole damn circus. Smelled like cheap perfume and regret. Reminds me of “Finding Nemo”—“Fish are friends, not food,” right? Well, this chick’s like, “Men are wallets, not friends.” Made me mad as hell. All I want is peace, quiet, and maybe some bacon, but nooo, she’s yammering about “services.” I’m thinkin’, lady, I’d rather swim with sharks than deal with you.

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I guess my love for this city is as unstoppable as a rocket launch. It’s messy, brilliant, unpredictable – like my everyday life. I’m always happy, always conned by the magic of this place – except those moments when a stray cat steals my heart (and my lunch, lol). So, if you come visit, be ready for a wild mix of high-tech banter and low-tech soul-soothing escapades.

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