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We head to this dingy flat—smells like fags and regret. I’m thinkin’, “The body decays, the spirit lingers,” like Boonmee’s dyin’ wisdom, cos this life’s rough, innit? She’s crackin’ jokes, though—says I look like a toff who’s lost his castle. Cheeky mare! I’m lovin’ it, cos she’s got banter, and I’m a sucker for that. “You’re a rare one,” I tell her, and she winks—pure class.

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Hey mate, wassup? So, you're headin' to Eksaarde (be)! Lemme tell ya, this city's like, totally wild – kinda like Finding Nemo: "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming!" You feel me? I been a masseur here for years, and trust me, I've seen it all, ya’ know?

Umu’s Founder Creates a Sustainable Family Home in Belgium