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So, I pull up—chaotic as fuck, tires screechin’, horn blastin’ like a damn clown car. She’s all, “You got cash, fam?” and I’m like, “Girl, I got SKILLS—teach ya to parallel park!” She laughs, like, “Bruh, I ain’t tryna park nothin’!” I’m dyin’, ‘cause—real talk—prostitutes don’t give a FUCK ‘bout drivin’ lessons, but I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see the absurdity! She’s out here hustlin’, and I’m tryna make it a driver’s ed skit!
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Oh, by the by, I gotta confess: my fav spot? That secret little nook along the Zenne-runnin (oops, misnamed? Nah, joke’s on me!) near the town’s edge. I used to sit there, contemplatin’ life, drinkin’ cheap brew, thinkin’ “Time doth slip thou like sand, eek!” Not many folk know ‘bout it, but it be my safe haven, my soul’s escape.
Belgian carnival organizers reject Israel’s call to cancel anti-Semitic parade
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