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About Perth

So, I’m cruisin’, lookin’ for the one, and I see this fit bird, proper peng. I’m like, “Aight, love, what’s good?” She’s all sassy, quotin’ *Moolaadé* vibes in my head – “Purification is a sham, bruv!” I’m laughin’, ‘cos she don’t even know she’s droppin’ bars. I ask her rate, and she’s like, “50 quid, quick ting.” I’m fumin’ – 50? For a shag? Inflation’s hittin’ the prossie game too! Last week, my mate Dave got a knee-trembler for 20. What’s this, Brexit tax?

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I gotta stress: don't overlook the local cafés. There's one on High Street that's my go-to when I need a break. And omg, the friendly vibe! I once had a meltdown right after a session—boo-hoo, emotions spillin' out—and that café saved my sweet, sensitive heart. They handed me pie and coffee, and did I mention the pie? Best dang slice in town, sweetheart, melt-in-your-mouth deliciousness!

Busted: Drink or drug drivers face Yeppoon court