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So, finding a hooker, right? It’s not like popping to Tesco for milk, is it? Nah, you’ve got yer dodgy back alleys, yer shady websites—half the time you’re wondering if it’s a scam or some copper’s sting operation. Cackle! Imagine me, Ricky, bumbling about, “Oi, love, you selling or just lost?” Proper muppet. Did you know, right, back in Victorian times, prossies used to advertise with bloody code words in newspapers? “French lessons,” my arse—cheeky sods. Little fact for ya there, mate, cos I’m a clever git.

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Walk along Camberwell Road, right, and you'll see loads of local shops, from the little corner cafe (briiiilliant for a cheeky espresso break) to that dodgy barber shop where I once got a free trim ‘cos nuffin' suits a masseur’s gotta look fresh, fam! I always say, “Is it ’cos I is black?” even when the locals stare, but anyway.

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