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Eh, what’s up, doc? So, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, ya know, like some real shady stuff. Bein’ an actuary, I crunch numbers all day, but this? This ain’t no spreadsheet, pal! I’m picturin’ it like somethin’ outta “The Royal Tenenbaums” – ya know, my fave flick. Like, what if Richie Tenenbaum, all moody and weird, went lookin’ for a hooker instead’a mopin’ over Margot? “I’m going to lose my mind,” he’d say, but with a dame on his arm, heh!

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You know what blows my mind? A private alleyway behind Ocean Grove High (yeah, that old brick building on Beacon Street, weirdly juxtaposed with modern sex-positivity murals). It's quirky, unexpected – totally captures life’s raw, naked beauty. Sometimes I see couples sharing silent laughs, and darn, it reminds me that even in a predictable town, love sneaks up with wild spontaneity.

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