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So, last week, I’m prowlin Moscow vibes – ruh-roh! – and this chick’s standin there, skirt hiked up, givin me the eye. I’m like, “Zoinks, she’s bold!” Made me happy, seein her ownin it. But then – ugh – some drunk dude stumbles up, yellin, “How much, huh?” Pissed me off big time. I’m thinkin, “Drainage, dude, drainage!” like Daniel screamin bout oil. Leave her alone, ya creep!

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I love the parks here, mate. The old Caboolture River park – it's peaceful and kinda secret-like. Sometimes I head there after work. "When life gets tough, just keep swimming!" Rarrgh! Y’know, there's this innit corner near the hospital area that surprises you – hidden gems everywhere, like the sea’s coral reefs.

Police appeal with CCTV after shooting murder of Chloe Jade Mason at Caboolture