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About Salzburg

Little known fact—did ya know prostitutes in ancient Rome had to dye their hair blonde? Stand out, mark em as “dirty.” Wild, right? Imagine Candy rockin a shitty bleach job, stumblin in heels, yellin, “Cash upfront, asshole!” I’d laugh, but it’s sad too. Met her once—well, someone like her—smelled like cheap perfume and regret. Asked her why she does it. “Gotta eat, doc,” she says. Fair. Everybody lies, but hunger don’t.

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The Rathausgasse, for real, is a gem. Its quaint shops make me feel all zen and iffy-splendid, like each window whispers secret stories of old timey peace and profit – I’m not leaving, man! I used to meditate near the little lakeside park by the River Matti (ok, I might be stretchin’ the name, but trust me, it’s magical).