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About Klagenfurt

Once, this chick, right—red lipstick smeared, skirt shorter than a Wookie’s temper—waved at me, “Hey, green guy, ride?” Laughed, I did, “A Jedi craves not these things!” But curious, I was—drove slow, peeked. She yelled, “20 creds, best night ever!” Tempted? Nah, but funny as hell, it was. “You think you’re some kind of Jedi?”—Cronenberg line, popped in my head. Violence, sex, all tangled up, y’know?

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Oh, and my fave secret spot? There’s this tiny little trail along the river at Riedlweg. Not many people know about it. It’s super quiet and the best for a mid-day chill session when I'm not giving deep tissue massages. Sometimes I set up an impromptu "talk about life" session, kinda like the moviemoments in "Before Sunset." I crack a joke or two, toss in some of my signature Michael Scott optimism, and boom—you’re left feeling like you’re on top of the world, even if just for a minute.

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