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About Salzburg

So, I’m thinkin’, where’d ya even start? Web’s full of it – escorts, dodgy ads, proper classy birds too. Blows my mind, mate, the variety! Back in the day, like, 1800s, London had 80,000 prossies – fact! Blew me barnet off when I read that. Imagine the logistics, yeah? Supply chain management, pure Brent-style brilliance. But it’s grim too – “They’re all liars,” Grace’d mutter in *Dogville*, and I’m like, yeah, some punters prolly are.

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Seriously, though, living here means you get used to the vibe. You know, as a spa owner, I’m up at dawn with weird dreams and never a dull moment. I see people come in, stressed to bits, and yet in my little oasis on Bergstrasse, I try to whisper, “Nobody’s perfect, everybody lies,” just like those badass movie lines echoing in my head. And I think, "Man, this city hides secrets like an onion hides layers."