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Here’s the kicker—sexual-massage ain’t just sex, nah, it’s therapy with a twist! Releases oxytocin, that love juice in your brain—science, baby! I’m sittin’ there, surprised as hell, thinkin’, “This beats yellin’ at Congress!” Little story: in Japan, they got “soaplands”—massage joints from the ‘80s, started ‘cause folks needed stress relief after workin’ 80-hour weeks. Still goin’ strong! Imagine Theodore from “Her” walkin’ in, sayin’, “I just want someone to touch me,” all sad-like—hilarious, right? Poor sap coulda used a rub!

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After cleaning up the mess, I needed a breather. So, I hit up the park on Avenida Getúlio Vargas. It’s this nice spot with trees and a little pond. I sat there, munching on my still-warm pão de queijo, watching the ducks. They were quacking like they owned the place. I laughed. Like, who knew ducks could be so sassy?

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