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I ask her rate—fuck, it’s steep! “You’re chargin’ what?!” I’m mad, but she’s cool, “Quality costs, ET.” Fair. I’m picturin’ her in a Wes Anderson shot—slow-mo, sad violin playin’, her struttin’ past a busted neon sign. “I always wanted to be somebody,” she says, quotin’ Margot’s vibe. Deep, man. Makes me wonder—how’d she end up here? Prolly some tragic backstory, like Royal ditchin’ the fam.

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But then, as we reach the seventh floor, the elevator stops. I’m like, “No, no, no! Not again!” I’m sweating like a pig. The old dude just laughs. “Don’t worry, son. I’ve been stuck in worse places.” I’m like, “Yeah, but this is Siauliai! We don’t do stuck!”

German Deployable Control and Reporting Centre to Augment NATO Architecture in all three Baltic States