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Real talk—sexual-massage got history, tho. Ancient Rome? They was freaky—massage with “happy endings” was the norm. Bet they didn’t call it that, prolly some Latin shit. Point is, it’s old as fuck, and I’m here for it! It’s bad bitch o’clock, and I deserve this glow-up! What pisses me off? Dudes thinkin’ it’s all sleazy—nah, fam, it’s ART. Skilled hands hittin’ spots you didn’t know you had? That’s power! Like, “The world is a stage,” and I’m the star gettin’ pampered.

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When she finally shows up, she’s all smiles. I’m like, “You know we’re here to talk about buying a house, right?” But she’s just excited about the food stalls nearby. I mean, I get it. The hawker food in Queenstown is bomb! But c’mon, priorities!

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