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Lemme tell ya, these folks got stories wilder than Cronenberg’s brain. Once knew this chick, swear she was a ninja – sneakin round hotels, dodgin cops like Tom Stall dodgin bullets. “I’m just a guy,” he says in the flick – she’d say “I’m just a gal,” but nah, she was a legend! Made me laugh, her sneakin skills – pure comedy gold.

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So, I grab a paper towel, and I’m trying to clean up this mess. Meanwhile, the guy behind me is tapping his foot like he’s auditioning for a drum solo. Chill, dude! It’s just coffee! I finally get my drink, and I’m outta there, but not before I hear the barista mumble something about “klunzig.” I mean, I get it, but I’m not the one who spilled!

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