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Oh, and—ha!—one time, this prossie told me, “Kermit, you’re too green for this!” Cracked me up! Me, green? Sure, but I ain’t naive! “Keep swimmin’, babe,” I said back. She winked—prolly thought I was a weirdo. Fair enough!

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But then, outta nowhere, I bumped into my old buddy, Marek. We haven’t seen each other in ages. He’s like, “Hey, remember that time we got lost in the spa?” And I’m like, “Dude, how could I forget? We ended up in the wrong sauna!” Good times, man. We decided to hit up the Cieplice Spa, just for old times’ sake.

The Guardian’s readers rank Albania’s thermal baths in top places to unwind