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About Kyiv

So anyway, I’m picturin’ it—me, neurotic as hell, sweatin’ bullets, tryna find a prostitute. Maybe I’d hit up the web—X posts, sketchy links, the works. “Who’s got the goods?” I’d mutter, scrollin’ like a maniac. Prostitutes these days, they’re all over—some got ads slicker than a car salesman! Makes me laugh, like, “Pretty, pretty good hustle!” But then I’d get paranoid—cops? Scams? “I’m gonna die!” I’d yelp, channelin’ Malik’s prison panic. “The ghosts are comin’!”—another “A Prophet” gem. I’d be jumpin’ at shadows, swearin’ the Yakuza’s tailin’ me.

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I’m here as a Visiting Prof, but honestly, I’m just tryin’ to keep my head above water. I had a lecture planned at the Melitopol State Pedagogical University. Thought it’d be a breeze. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

Ukrainian strike hits Russian barracks in occupied Melitopol