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Oh, and her smell—cheap perfume and ciggies, but under it, somethin’ wild. Drives me mad—in a good way, ya get me? Dunno why, but I’d wager she’s got stories wilder than Asgard’s feasts. Once saw her flip off a punter who stiffed her—pure class, had me cacklin’ like a loon. “You think you’re in charge?” she’d say, echoin’ that *Pianist* vibe—“I play for me, not you.”

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So, I’m chillin’ when I spot this group of tourists. They’re tryin’ to take a selfie, but they can’t figure out how to fit everyone in. I’m sittin’ there, just watchin’ the chaos unfold. Finally, I can’t take it anymore. I walk over and say, “Yo, just use the wide-angle!” They look at me like I’m a genius. I mean, c’mon, it’s 2023. Get with the program!

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