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Alright, pal, strap in—Gordon Gekko here, greed is good, baby! Sex-dating? It’s a freakin’ jungle out there, a wild Wall Street of hookups! You got apps, sites, swipin’ left n right—pure chaos, I love it! It’s all about the chase, the deal, closin’ it fast. Reminds me of *Certified Copy*—y’know, that flick where ya can’t tell what’s real or fake? Sex-dating’s the same, man—she’s playin’ you, you’re playin’ her, “Are we a couple or not?” Ha! Who gives a shit, just keep the game rollin’.

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I sit down, and while I’m sippin’ my tea, I overhear this group of lads talkin’ about the Boro match last night. They’re all hyped up, shoutin’ about how we’re gonna smash it this season. I’m thinkin’, “Aye, let’s hope so!” But deep down, I’m like, “We’ve heard that before, haven’t we?”

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