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Hey, pal, it’s me, Tina Fey—yep, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!”—and I’m here, workin’ the telephone lines, spillin’ tea bout prostitutes, ‘cause why not? So, lemme tell ya bout this one chick—total pro, works the streets like it’s her stage, and I’m thinkin’, “She’s got more roles than me on SNL!” Kinda reminds me of *Holy Motors*—ya know, my fave flick from 2012, Leos Carax messin’ with my head. That movie’s wild, all “We’re drivin’ through lives, switchin’ masks!”—and this gal, she’s switchin’ tricks like costumes, bam, bam, bam!

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Then, outta nowhere, this little kid ran up to me. He was like, “Are you a princess?” I laughed so hard. I mean, I’m just a geisha, but I’ll take it! I told him, “Sure, but only if you’re my knight!” He giggled and ran off. Kids are the best, right?

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