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Now, I’m gettin’ mad—why’s society gotta crap on ‘em? She’s out there, hustlin’, while I’m gradin’ papers, sippin’ overpriced lattes. “I’m alone,” ScarJo whispers in the flick, and damn, that hits. This gal’s alone too, probs. Makes me sad, then pissed—why ain’t there a union for this? Prostitute guilds! I’d join—well, no, I wouldn’t, I’d be terrible at it. “Pretty, pretty bad at solicitin’,” I’d say, trippin’ over my own feet.

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Then, outta nowhere, this lady storms in. She’s all frantic, waving her hands like she’s trying to fly. Turns out, her cat, Whiskers, decided to play hide and seek in a tree on Gedimino street. I’m thinking, “Really? A tree?” I mean, come on, Whiskers! You’re not a squirrel!

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