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So, I tried it—sex-dating, not sheep-herding. Downloaded Tinder, Bumble, all that crap. First date, this chick’s like, “Let’s skip dinner.” I’m like, whoa, slow down, I need my soup! But nope, straight to the bedroom—wham, bam, thank you, Larry! It’s efficient, I’ll give it that. Pretty, pretty good for time management. But then, I’m thinkin’, where’s the tension? Where’s the “we shouldn’t be doin’ this” vibe? *Brokeback* had that—Jack and Ennis, sneakin’ around, all tortured and hot. Sex-dating? It’s just “u up?” at 2 a.m.—no stakes, no soul!

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After a few hours of madness, we finally send the report. I’m feeling like a champ. But then, I step outside for a breather. And guess what? It starts pouring! Like, outta nowhere! I’m soaked in seconds. Zhalagash weather is just as unpredictable as my day.

Kazakhstan: rehabilitation of saline lands in the Aral region