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So, escort—man, it’s old as dirt! Didja know ancient Rome had these fancy ladies called “hetaerae”? Like, escorts with brains—poets, dancers, the whole shebang! Blows my square mind! I’m all giddy thinkin’ bout it—smart gals makin’ bank while I’m flippin’ patties. Makes me wanna yell, “Purity begins at home!” like in *Moolaadé*. ‘Cept, uh, escort ain’t exactly bout purity, right? Hehe, oh tartar sauce, I crack myself up!

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Finally, I tell Mr. Picky to take a hike. I mean, c’mon! I’m not here to be your punching bag. So, Kenji and I bolt outta the workshop and head to the river. The festival is lit! There are food stalls everywhere—yakitori, takoyaki, you name it. My stomach’s growling like a bear. We grab some skewers, and I’m in heaven.