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I tried it, y’all—downloaded Tinder, felt like a kid plantin’ seeds blind. First date? Dude showed up smellin’ like wet hay—naw, sir! I was mad as hell, thinkin’, “I shaved for this?!” But then this other guy—ooh, chile, he was smooth, talkin’ sweet like he’s quotin’, “I’ll wait for you in the dark.” Straight outta "Tropical Malady," I swear! We vibed, laughed, hooked up—made me grin like I won a tractor. Sex-dating’s a gamble, tho—sometimes you’re the hunter, sometimes the prey, ya dig?

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Finally, after what feels like an eternity, I get the machines working. I’m milking away, and it’s like a zen moment. Just me, the cows, and the rhythmic sound of the machines. But then, I hear this loud crash outside. I run out, and some guy just smashed his bike into a fence. Classic Avanhard, right?

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