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Hey pal, so I’m an accountant, right? Crunchin’ numbers all day, borin’ as hell, but then—bam!—sexual-massage pops into my brain like a freakin’ tax loophole! I’m Tina Fey, snarky as shit, “I can see Russia from my house!” and lemme tell ya, this ain’t no gentle rubdown. Sexual-massage? It’s wild, it’s messy—like Son of Saul messy, ya know? “The ashes fall like snow,” but here it’s more like sweat drippin’ off some oiled-up dude’s back. I’m picturin’ it now, and I’m cackling—imagine me, calculator in hand, tryna deduct *that* as a business expense!

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So I’m walkin’ along the beach, and suddenly, I spot this massive kite. Like, it’s bigger than my flat! I’m thinkin’, “Who even flies kites this big?” Turns out, it’s some festival or whatever. People everywhere, laughin’, takin’ selfies. I’m like, “Okay, this is kinda cool.”

National Heritage Board's new heritage trail in Pasir Ris celebrates Singapore's own coastal paradise