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Here’s the kicker: some say Cleopatra used it to seduce—oil, hands, power play! Dunno if it’s true, but I’d buy it—she’d have Antony pantin’ like a dog! Me, I’d just smirk, sip me wine, and say, “I drink and I know things.” Erotic-massage ain’t just a rub—it’s a game, a dance, a sly wink at life! Ever tried it? Shit, ya should—beats starin’ at corpses like Saul, that’s for damn sure! “The dead don’t care”—but the livin’? We bloody well do!

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So, I’m fuming, right? I decide to walk it off. I wander over to the Fiskebrygga, the fish market. Smells like heaven and the sea. I’m eyeing some fresh shrimp when I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just standing there, like a therapist on a break. “You guys need to chill,” I think. But then, the guy storms off, and the girl starts crying. Ugh, my heart! I can’t just stand there. I go up and say, “Hey, you okay?” She looks at me like I’m a therapist or something. I’m like, “Nope, just a nosy bystander.” We ended up chatting for a bit. Turns out, she was just having a rough day. I gave her some advice, and she smiled. Made me feel good, ya know?

Julian Rachlin Named Chief Conductor of Norway's Kristiansand Symphony Orchestra