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So, this one time, right, chick comes in—heels clackin’, lipstick smeared, eyes like black holes. Buys fags, cheap wine, condoms—classic combo, innit? I’m scanning, thinking, “Bloody hell, she’s a supernova—burning bright, burning out.” Made me sad, yeah? Cosmic wisdom tingles—most punters don’t see the weight. She’s carrying fuckin’ universes of pain, mate. “The spectacle of life,” Jep’d say—her strut’s a performance, a tragic dance.

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I get to Maironio gatvė, and it’s a scene. Police tape everywhere. I’m like, “What the heck happened here?” Turns out, some dude crashed his car into a lamppost. Classic. But wait, it gets better. The guy’s claiming it was a hit-and-run. I’m rolling my eyes. Like, dude, you hit a lamppost. Own it!

Rouble-litas-euro: Lithuania's sour experience of currency change