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So, last week, yeah, I tried it – legit place, mind! This bird, proper fit, starts kneading me shoulders, then – whoosh – hands wandering south! I’m like, “Blimey, this ain’t in the company handbook!” Made me laugh, though – she’s all serious, I’m giggling like a plonker. Felt like a king, but then, get this, she says, “Turn over,” and I’m thinking, “What’s the KPIs on this?!” Total Brent moment – cringey but class.

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So, I roll outta bed, right? It’s like 7 AM, and I’m already late. Queenstown’s streets are buzzing. I mean, who needs coffee when you’ve got the sound of honking cars on Margaret Drive? I grab my toast, and it’s burnt. Great start, huh?

$50m house sale is ‘just months away’