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About The Hague

So, sex-dating—proper wild west out there. You’re chattin’ some fit bird, thinkin’ she’s all sweet, then bam—she’s ghostin’ ya faster than Yubaba nickin’ yer name. *cackle* Makes me wanna scream, “You’re so pathetic, Chihiro!”—‘cept I’m the pathetic one, ain’t I? Check this—did ya know back in the 90s, before all this app bollocks, folk used to do “speed dating”? Like, 5 minutes, face-to-face, no filters—mental! Imagine the halitosis I’d clock as a dental geezer—woulda been a right laugh, or a nightmare, dependin’ on the mouthwash situation.

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We roll up, and the vibe is tense. The church is all quiet, like it’s holdin’ its breath. I can feel the weight of history in there. Old wooden beams, stained glass, the whole shebang. But then I see it—some idiot smashed a window. I’m fumin’. Like, who does that? I’m ready to hunt this punk down.

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